Results from the "What gives us the idea we are somehow special" blog:

Many friends replied here and on Facebook and I have had a few very interesting discussions in person, on this topic.  Although this is not the last word, I will give a recap on some of the thoughts gathered and answers to the questions posed:

1.  We are special because we are unique and obviously if there is only one of something, it is pretty darn special, no matter how you look at it, or how it feels about itself.  In German you call it an "unikat" or in English an "unique specimen".  No one can deny that it is something special.

2.  Some people are indeed simply amazing and rise to fame without striving, unassuming and seemingly without effort.  These are often people who are comfortable with their uniqueness.  My son Rheece is like that.  He simply does ONLY what he loves doing, he chooses consistently to see the beauty in other people and he is very talented and unique in music, rhythm and art.  Everywhere he goes, people express their love for his art and his person and many people have said to him that he is the closest thing to Jesus on earth that they have ever seen.  He is not trying, he simply is.  Very many people also stare at him as he is so different and they are so 'the same', but no one can deny he is something special.

3.  Then there are the people who rise above the crowd by sheer determination, hard work, will power and a refusal to give up.  Sportsmen and women usually fall into this category.  My eldest son Baine is in this category too.  He has chosen a very hard and strenuous career for himself that pushes his body, mind, soul and spirit to the limits and he is GREAT at it.  He is competitive firstly against himself and has been since he was a child.  He always needs to prove to himself that he has given his utmost.  He is usually top of his group, over-all best and highest achiever in any activity.  He works hard and is disciplined and uses every resource to his avail, in order to achieve greatness.  He has been responsible and has taken weaker people in his care, also since childhood and his chosen vocation allows him to live out this trait.  No-one can deny that he is something special.

4.  Then there is the idea that people are special in their own right and that we rise above our own crowd.  The same person who is part of the 'crowd' in one area (arts, sport etc.) will be above the crowd in some other area,. (politics or acting etc.) While there is no denying that there are specific people who are so good at what they do that they rise to fame, even if they are 'average' in other areas, it is good to know that being special is not a uniform, conformist notion.  It is a very relative thing.  Someone can be extremely famous in their own country in one area and be utterly unknown in the rest of the world, but that is simply a matter of exposure.  No-one can deny that these people are something special!

5.  There are also people who achieve against the odds.  These are the people, whom life has thrown the curve-ball, but that very same ball, somehow made them strong and made them who they are.  My daughter Jenny certainly is in this category.  Without going into details, it suffices to say that on a daily basis she disproves everything that could be true about the results of the obstacles that she faces, and there are several.  The curve-ball is something that she is an expert on, as young as she is. It has brought out very special qualities in her that makes her rise above her crowd and will become even more instrumental in her achieving greatness still.   There is no denying that she is indeed something special.

6.  The most endearing notions of greatness and even grandeur, comes from children.  Somehow we start out as children, never doubting that we are special and that we will achieve greatness.  I believe it is a great crime to tell a child anything to the contrary.  Never break a child down.  Never step on their dreams and never try to explain 'reality' to them.  It is not their reality that you are talking about.  It is your own.  You have no idea what their reality might look like.  You have no right to 'bring them down to size' (your size) or disillusion them.  Before they are exposed to the lies that they are not special, they all think they are. There is something simply magical and angelic about small children.  And no-one can deny that every child is something special.

7.  The last group I want to look at for now, is those who achieve greatness in God's will for their lives.  No matter what that may be, if your heart belongs wholly to God and you say: Let Your Will be done... and you surrender daily to the unctions and promptings of that gentle inner voice, you are achieving greatness in the highest and purest forms.  By the nature of things, this is a self-less endeavor - there is always an element of 'laying down your life for your friends' of which 1 John 3:3 says - there is no greater love.  No-one can deny that this is truly special in every way.

So, on the eve of my 1 month quest to find my toes in India,*(I shall explain shortly) I will take something of each of these 7 kinds of wonderful.  I will celebrate my uniqueness and rest in that.  I will stop striving and just be comfortable with my own talents.  I will put effort into the potential that I have.  I will consider that, perhaps although I am not 'famous' in the true sense of the word, in my small crowd of colleagues, I rise above the norm, go the extra mile.  Particularly in the non-profit world where I work and live, at least I know that there are a handful of very vulnerable people, who may think I am special, simply because I followed Jesus' example and heeded his call to feed the hungry, visit those in prison, touch the untouchables, love the unloving.  I will re-connect with the little Meleney, who never doubted that she was going to achieve BIG and that she is something very special.  In doing so, I will have to face those very child-hood traumas that stole that initial idea away from me - I will catch those curve-balls and use them to my advantage.  But finally, no matter what it is, whether big or small if I quietly set my heart on finding and doing ONLY God's will for me, I will not be able to deny any longer that I am indeed something special.

*Quest of finding my toes:  For the past few years I have sat most of my days in front of my laptop.  Firstly while studying, then for my job at Viva Foundation. I became less and less active.  Result:  I cant touch my toes bending forward.  I am too stiff and I have constant back-ache.  So yes, I have decided as I empty myself of expectations for the time I will spend in India and simply enjoying a re-boot, I will have this one goal... I want to find my toes again.  I will back-pack and walk and do yoga and swim and climb and jump - no one knows me there and I just wont care what I look like doing all these things... hopefully after one month, I will be able to touch my toes again - straight legs - bent forward.