Jesus wasn't a Christian - The Full Shocking Story

I got a lot of likes for that status update.  I was actually hoping to press the red button for some people and I think I might have still.  But those people don't feel like engaging me in an argument and they probably just got a bit peeved at my poking attitude.  ("Poke" as in "Stop poking or I'll tell!" and not the "What the hell is Facebook poking all about?" kind of way) Because when they think a little bit about it, they know exactly what I mean.

I love it that when blogging I can start sentences with 'But' and 'Because'.  Proper grammar would have been "On the contrary..." and "However", or "For this reason..", because one shouldn't start proper sentences with But and Because.

So yes, Jesus was not a Christian.  He was not a follower of Christ.  He didn't give His life to the Lord.  He was definitely also not a Disciple.  He didn't go up at the end of a moving service and followed the head-usher to the room next door.  He didn't take His Bible and personal possessions with Him to prevent the other Christians and clever robbers of church-folk, from stealing His stuff.  He did not follow the 86 week Discipleship course and the 3 Steps to Heaven, the John 3:16 Course, the How to become a Fisher of Men workshop, the Leadership and Other Wannabe Leaders Summit, or the Now that You are Born Again Training Seminar.  He definitely did not complete the Strength Finder Assessment, the Colour Coding for Easy Human Categorization profile questionnaire, the Japanese Art of War Strategic Management for Christian Leaders Course, or the "If you can't walk on water, wait till it freezes over and other practical Messianic tricks" Seminar.*

*Most of these are not real courses offered.

No dear Friends, Jesus was the real deal!!  He is the Chief Cornerstone.  He is the Rosetta Stone.  (I don't know if that is technically correct.  The Rosetta Stone is probably a chip from the Chief Cornerstone.)  He it the beginning and the end, He makes cryptonite in His backyard, but not after school, because He doesn't go to school so that other people can teach Him what to believe.  He doesn't believe.  He knows.  I could say something about Chuck Norris now, but nothing funny comes to mind.

Did you play "Broken Telephone" as a child?  Did you also have the distinct feeling that some kids deliberately perverted the whispered word?  You knew they heard exactly what it was, but wanted to make sure that some nonsense comes out the other end.  Well that is too close to the truth about followers of followers of followers of followers of followers... today.  If you want to know the word that began... stand next to the one who whispers it first.  And whisper it exactly as you hear it and then tell all the other kids down the line to come and stand where you are standing and get the word from the ORIGINATOR!!  (If you can say any word that ends in 'tor' without thinking about Spongebob then you are not of this world.  Alien imposter!  IMPOSTOR!  Go clone a Facebook account!)

I guess what I am trying to say... ya I know, my thoughts are as random as that thick book "Don Coyote" ... what I'm trying to say is:  I dont really care how you give your life to Jesus.  It is beautiful to see people go forward after a moving service and give their lives to the Lord.  I cry every time.  But don't follow the followers.  Follow the Real Deal.  And Disciple Makers:  please make disciples of Jesus and not disciples of yourself, your mandate, or your demographic.

Some Christian churches advertise their desired demographic subtly, but most of them do it blatantly.  The clean-cut, friendly pastor and his gorgeous wife smile down from the billboard saying:  "You would LOVE it here by us".  Others put their desired demographic on their billboard.  If you are a happy, gorgeous family (black, white, Asian, Hispanic), preferably a heterosexual married couple with 2 or 3 children, if you are old and beautiful or young and beautiful and most importantly if you are in your right mind... "You would LOVE it here by us!"  (..and we would love you right back!)

Please imagine what Jesus' billboard would look like.  Just imagine driving past and you see a porn-star on the job, a kid shooting heroin into his veins, a pedophile, a politician, a gorgeous heterosexual married couple with 2 or 3 children, a hobo, a hillbilly, a lawyer, a hippie, a scientist, a wall-street banker, a G8 protester, a guerrilla fighter, a child soldier, a rhino poacher, an NGO volunteer, an untouchable, a rockstar, a secretary, a doctor, a gangster, an artist, an extremist, a witch, a Gospel singer, a tax cheater, a drunk driver, a pastor, and a whole lot of little children, on a billboard... then you might very well be at Jesus' church!  Because He says ALL who are weary and heavy laden COME TO ME!  Are you heavy laden with guilt, or heavy laden with wealth?  Are you just plain sick and tired, or are you just plain sick and tired of people who are sick and tired?  Are you freaking awesome, or are you as plain as low-fat, unflavored yogurt?  You are Jesus' demographic!

Don't follow the followers, follow Jesus.  It is really great to be in a great church.  But follow Jesus.  Take life with a pinch of salt.  And follow Jesus.  If you don't like Christians, it just may comfort you that Jesus wasn't one either.  If you want to know what the Word is... get it from the One who whispers it first!

This is a cool interview with Bono http://noapologizing.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/u2s-bono-interview-about-christ/

If God is your father, then who is your mother?

I recently had an interaction with an individual who so stereo-typically displayed in his notions, the philosophy and attributes of modern atheism, that I feel I should blog about it! 

There are two main elements entrenched in atheism and they are Arrogance and Ignorance.  I have always said that at the intersection were arrogance and ignorance collide, they cry “There is no God”.   However modern Atheism does not simply reject the traditional idea of God, they replace God with something else, firmly believing in their replacement and vigorously proselyting, making it a religion.   In this gentleman’s (actually he wasn't really a gentleman, he was simply crude and displayed very poor manners) case, his mind is the replacement.  When I pointed out to him that he is a devoted follower of the religion of Atheism, he flatly denied that he is an atheist and waxed philosophical about love and humanity et cetera and so forth.  

Arrogance and ignorance; we can start at either point, but they are both very present.  So much so that I want to coin a new phrase:  arrogo-ignorance.  The element of ignorance is unmistakable – it blatantly admits that it cannot see God, cannot fathom the ability of billions of people through the ages, to believe in God.  The element of ignorance admits “I don’t get it!”, but with an arrogant laugh!  The arrogance that says “I am so clever, so important, so central to my own existence, that if I don’t get it, it simply cannot be!”  Therefor the atheist assumes and strongly believes, that only stupid people believe in God, because they can’t seem to reason properly.  Classical arrogo-ignorance! 

Then arrogo-ignorance doesn't stop there.  Many atheists feel compelled and entitled to launch scathing attacks on the Bible, a collection of writings that began 3500 years ago, took 40 people 1600 years to write, has of the most beautiful poetry, is based on accurate historical facts, never contradicts itself (claims of contradiction come from those who take verses out of context and have poor understanding of the holistic, thematic basis), is the all-time best seller ever, is as relevant today as it was when it was written (just think Proverbs and Ecclesiastes)and was a forerunner of all texts in the area of science.  While other sources declared that the earth rode on the back of an elephant, or was upheld by Atlas, the Bible alone stated what is today common knowledge, that the earth floats in space (Job 26:7).  

While only in the 19^th century it was discovered that all visible matter consist of invisible (to the eye) particles, the Bible stated this fact before 100 AD (Hebrews 11:3) The Biblical explanation of the Firmament is the closest any of the historical writings ever came to describing accurate scientific facts about our world (The Spirit hovering over the deep – or in secular terms, Energy moving over water creating a magnetic field that literally keeps us and everything else ‘together’ – Job also says ‘If You remove Your Spirit, everything will perish and return to particles.”)  The very Big Bang theory (not the one with Sheldon in the lead role), has been ridiculed by scientists, because it implies that Something outside of our known world, caused the Bang!  As the cosmos cools down, that cooling down is measurable and traceable to a point where the cooling began.  That is:  the rate the kitchen cools down from the time the oven is opened up, implies that someone opened the oven!  The first three verses of Genesis accurately express all known aspects of the creation.  Science expresses the universe in terms of: time, space, matter, and energy. In Genesis 1 we read: "In the beginning (time) God created the heavens (space) and the earth (matter)...Then God said, "Let there be light (energy)." No other creation account agrees with the observable evidence.*

It is amazing to me that people who don’t know the Bible, feel confident in commenting on it.  They believe what is written in today’s newspaper, that has a life-span of 24 hours, written by journalists, people like you and me, some who might have scraped through university on the skin of their bum, people with their own agendas and their own, untried opinions.  Truth is, the only thing you cut and keep from a newspaper is stuff written about you or yours!  The Bible stood the test of time!  It has been studied and probed and has provided inspiration and guidance for thousands of years!  It is simple enough for a child to understand, yet mysterious enough to confound the wisest mind.

I don’t want to continue on the point of science, because my faith is not based on scientific fact and I don’t need to explain God in order to believe in Him.  In fact, I love the fact that I cannot explain Him.  If He fitted into my intellect, He could very well be a making of mine and not I, a making of His.

No, we are talking about the arrogo-ignorance of Atheism.   The fact that through the ages, very wise and intelligent people were fully capable of a relationship with a living and loving God, is overlooked by the modern atheist.  The assumption is that only stupid people, only those who are weak and afraid, need and believe God.   This interesting interaction with the person who sparked my desire to blog about atheism, began when a friend posted his re-write of Psalm 23, replacing “The Lord” with “My Mind”, on Facebook.  I pointed out that if your mind is your shepherd, all you need is a good bump to the head and all of a sudden your mind is no longer your shepherd, but a soft blob of drool on top of your neck and seeing that he somehow believes that if you are really clever, you won’t believe in a Lord who loves you, guides you, interacts with you and – heaven forbid – tells you what to do - I responded!  I pointed out to him that I am probably one of the cleverest people he will ever meet and still I am fully capable of enjoying a very fulfilling relationship with God and that life without faith is sadly lacking in dimension.   

Of course I told the story of my intelligence with a tongue-in-the-cheek and wink of the eye, that he was not privileged to as the discussion was not face to face and so he didn't seem to think it was very funny.   I don’t usually make a habit of explaining how clever I am, as I don’t believe that being clever is in itself much of an accomplishment.  When one uses one’s intellect and combine it with hard work and study and gets accolades, one might mistake it for accomplishments, but the fact is that all of that has been graced upon us (or not).  It is unmerited.  The grey matter that one starts out with, the ability to study, the ability to ‘hold’ knowledge and apply it… those are graces.  I certainly did not make myself clever and that I am able to study, remember what I studied and apply it to my life, those are things that God blessed with me.  It is nothing to be proud of.  It is not as if I obtained something by my own strength.  I arrived on earth with a brain.  I inherited it from a very clever, witty and beautiful woman and alas a very clever and hilariously unscrupulous man.  But it is not my brain that I take pride in, it is the other things that I inherited from my mother – the unwavering faith in God the Father, the beauty of being in love with Jesus and the joy of dependence on the Holy Spirit.  That is my story, not the fact that I happened to blow a couple of IQ tests out of the water!

I feel it is only fair that I answer some of the questions this man posed at me in his attempt to get me to doubt God.  I quote verbatim:

“Meleney Kriel:  I am happy to know that you are so intelligent.  I just have a few questions for your intelligent mind. {1} how do you know that god is a male, did you check to see for yourself and if you did how big was his private part?”

See why I don’t bestow the usual ‘gentleman’ title here? 

So first of all, lets quickly correct the grammar (seeing that this is man whose mind is his shepherd): The question should read “How do you know that God is male?” not “a male”.  (That one is for free.)

I believe in the God of the Bible and He introduced Himself as “Father”.  He says “I will be your father and you will be my sons and daughters”.  It is not the gender, but the role that He fulfills in the Godhead.  I understand fully how the image of a perfect father has been tainted by our own fathers and it is hard for most of us to relate to the beautiful father-heart of God.  My own father had little scruples and he was master at excuses when it came to providing for us, resulting in me finding it difficult to ask God for anything.  However, I have the coolest stories about how God provides for me in His process of proving to me that He is my provider.  No coincidences, just hilarious detail in the smallest and biggest ways.  For instance (and I have LOTS of these stories), when we were missionaries in Swaziland, we were in a mountain village called Hlatikulu.  One night I told my husband “I wish I had fillet steak!”  He laughed and said, “The people in this area only eat beef when they have a marriage or a funeral and then they are not going to cut T-bones and fillet.  They chop up the whole cow and cook it all.”  We know, because we were privileged to be invited to some of these feasts.  That night, there was a knock on our caravan door and a gentleman stood there with a brown paper packet and asked for me.  My husband told him that he can give it to me, but he insisted and said “No this is for Mama Baine”  (My son’s name).   He handed me the packet and said, “I am bringing this for you.”  Guess what?  He was a butcher from a nearby town and came home the weekend with a FULL beef fillet – just for me!!  Yes, so God set out to heal the wounds of a child whose father told her that the maintenance money flushed down the toilet with his whole wallet!! 

My answer:  No, I did not have to check if God is male, He chose to call himself my father and I gladly accept.

Next question:

“{2} why would a god need to have a gender shouldn’t an omnipotent being be beyond gender?”

You reason like a human, because you are human.  So I will explain in human terms:  The Bible says God made us in His image – male and female He made us.  This means that men are made in His image and women are also made in His image.  We have to deduct that He has all the attributes of the two genders in Him, for it to flow out of Him.  It is actually one of the beautiful mysteries of marriage.  He also says that in marriage, the two become one.  We can speculate why He wouldn't just make a being that is both male and female in one.  Personally I celebrate the differences and find it would be rather boring, but think about it:  it is an amazing thing to find that person who completes you (corny and cheesy I know), but in reality, those elusive and scarce souls who happen to have been married for decades and whose marriage have stood the test of time, would perhaps be able to explain how the two are one.  I have been married for only 28 years and already I can’t imagine being alone.  I could be reduced to tears in a minute if I imagine losing my husband and having to carry on as one half of a whole.  I know he feels the same as he was positively lost when I went to India with my son last year for 4 weeks!  

My answer:  God is indeed beyond gender, just because Jesus came in the form of a son and the Father calls Himself the Father, does not mean He is confined to gender as we know it. 

Next Question:

“{3} you said that god’s hand has been in your life, why would god need a hand, and how big are his hands, how do you know it was god’s hands and not his devil’s hand. How did he identify himself, and how would you know it was him if you have never seen or met him before?”

For someone whose mind is his shepherd, I am rather amazed that you cannot understand that I refer to the amazing things that happen in my life as “God’s hand”.  But if you are incapable of lateral thought, or common idiom, we can get literal and I can say: Big!! 

So that’s my answer:  God’s hands are very big.  Huge.  The Bible says He spans the universe between His fingers.  It is quite amazing that He does not squash us like a bug right?  The reason for that is that He is love.  God’s nature, His very being is LOVE.  His patience is unending, so is His kindness, His grace, His compassion and that, is why the infinite God takes the time with us finite people.

Secondly, how I know it is not the devil’s hand?  Please!  That is a stupid question.  Have you ever seen the Satanists?  They worship the devil who asks them to sacrifice blood, their pets, other people and mostly, themselves.  They jump off bridges in groups, in sacrifice to him.  No the devil asks more, more, more!  God gives!  The Bible says “For God so loved the world that He gave…”  I can be pretty sure that the many blessings in my life are not the results of the devil’s ‘hand’.  I have seen the devil’s hand though.  I see it all around me.   Those who hate God are his prey.  The Bible says he came to kill, steal and destroy.  Do you see death, robbery and destruction?  That, is the hand of the devil. 

You ask how I know it is His hand if I never seen or met Him before?  You assume that I have never seen or met Him before.  My life has a fourth dimension.  I see in the Spirit.  Do you know quantum physics?  Oracle Thinkquest says:  Quantum physics is a branch of science that deals with discrete, indivisible units of energy called quanta as described by the Quantum Theory. There are five main ideas represented in Quantum Theory: namely that Energy is not continuous, but comes in small but discrete units, that the elementary particles behave both like particles and like waves, that the movement of these particles is inherently random and that it is physically impossible to know both the position and the momentum of a particle at the same time. The more precisely one is known, the less precise the measurement of the other is.  The atomic world is nothing like the world we live in. While at a glance this may seem like just another strange theory, it contains many clues as to the fundamental nature of the universe and is more important than even relativity in the grand scheme of things (if any one thing at that level could be said to be more important than anything else). Furthermore, it describes the nature of the universe as being much different than the world we see. 

From this comes the notion of a ‘quantum leap’ – if you think it means ‘a very large leap’, you would be wrong.  It is a robust and essential shift from one mind-set, outlook or mentality, to another.   I have to explain things to you that you have no frame of reference for and if your mind is as shut tight as it seems from your questions and philosophy, it will be very hard for you to understand when I say, I see visions.  I have met God when I was a little girl.  My mother found me staring at one of those old-fashioned dimensional pictures, of Jesus knocking at a door.  She explained to me that the door depicts the door of my heart and there is no handle on the outside.  Jesus is a gentleman, she said and he knocks.  He doesn't barge in.  It is up to me to open up from the inside and let him in.  She referred to the scripture that says “Behold, I stand at the door and I knock.  If anyone opens up for me, I will enter and we will have communion”.  Not the wafer and the wine type of communion, but the companionship kind, the camaraderie, the attachment between friends.  If you can’t understand how amazing that must be, then you are the poorer for it. 

I went to my bedroom and there, this 5 year old child cried out to God and said: “I want you to come into my life.”  And He did.  I can’t explain it in any terms that you will understand.  You will have to make the quantum leap.  You will have to open your mind and your heart and believe.  Faith is the key.  It isn't something that you can explain.  But I do see Him.  I meet with Him.  I sit at my piano and begin to worship.  I sing and speak in tongues (nice shocker for you there!)  I am able to ascend into this higher dimension and it doesn't take hours, it doesn't require deep meditation and beating of my body.  I can move in and out of that place at will and if you have never experienced it, my heart bleeds for you.  It is the source of my inspiration, it is where I find peace and it is where I hear what God is saying to me. 

{4} How do you know it was not Allah or one of the hundreds of other god that is messing with your head.

No-one is messing with my head.  I am in my right mind.  I am a fully functional and contributing adult human, a citizen of the world, a South African by birth and I don’t discriminate against people who think differently than I, people who sin differently than me and who believe, or experience and comprehend differently than what I have come to believe, experience and comprehend. 

As for how I know it is not Allah, I have to say that I am not an expert on Islam, but the word Allah is derived from Al-ilah (The-deity).  Some people believe Allah is another name for the same God, but historically in pre-Islamic Arabia it is the name of one of many gods that were worshiped.   Some say  that the prophet Mohammed chose from other gods, Allah, the god of the desert.  But once again, I am not an expert on this topic.  I just know that I believe in the God of the Bible, who reveals Himself to me as a triune God, namely Father, Son and Spirit and as such I know it is not the hand of Allah per se, nor one of hundreds of gods.  It would be the One I ask and the One I trust.  If you want to worship science or knowledge you might say you see the ‘hand’ of science, or knowledge in your life.  But science evolves and knowledge is a very relative and changing concept.  What is knowledge today is foolishness tomorrow.  Hence my concern that ‘your mind is your shepherd’.  One good knock on the head and your world falls apart!

Question:  {5}How do you know that you don’t need to see a psychiatrist for your issues of seeing and believing in spirits & that an invisible man lives in the sky? And finally why can’t your god once and for all speak for himself for a change? Please use you profound intelligence and answer these basic question for me.

People believe that their ancestors guide them.  Are they in need of a psychiatrist?  You believe your mind is infallible.  Do you need a psychiatrist?  Will you ever be able to admit that you don’t understand everything?   You reason and inquire on a very linear basis.  A man living in the sky, would be unusual, unless you refer to the Mir and other manned space craft.  I do not believe in a man living in the sky and never said I do.  I believe in a God who is capable of holding the universe and in fact the cosmos, in His hand and yet makes my heart His home.   If you don’t understand it, don’t feel bad.  Neither do I.  Faith is not based on knowledge or understanding – it goes beyond human knowledge and understanding.  If it fits in your head, it isn't God.  Because like I said, one good knock to your skull and there it goes!! 

The truth is that mankind is capable of faith – it is what distinguishes us from apes.  It is what distinguishes me from apes anyway. 

*http://www.raptureforums.com/BibleProphecy/101science.cfm  

and http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/10-amazing-bible-facts/ [cited 11 March 2013]

*http://library.thinkquest.org/3487/qp.html

Why do people rape?

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Rape - Your instinct can save your life

Some of you may know that I have written a Rape Response Protocol, specially for South Africa and it is getting a bit of media attention at the moment. The Rape Response Protocol Initiative is aimed at informing the public and survivors of rape, what the appropriate first steps are and provide an overview of the process from incident to guilty verdict.  Ultimately to assist and encourage survivors of rape, to understand that the process involves several phases and that it is in the interest of justice and in their own interest, that they remain in that process till the end.

It comes in the form of an info-poster and matching booklet that is available as a download from our website http://www.viva-sa.co.za/index.php/programmes/rape-response-protocol-initiative and as funding becomes available, in print as well.

I am going to begin to write my thoughts on rape and considered create a separate blog around the subject, but for now I will just keep it right here in my personal blog - as it is a very personal issue for me - and see how it goes from here.  

Much is being said about rape in our country and across the world lately, but we all know it is not a new phenomenon.  What is very disturbing however, is that particularly brutal rapes, accompanied by true barbaric actions, such as disembowelment, broken bones, breast mutilation and internal injuries with objects, such as one finds in war-crime scenarios, perpetrated by inhumane and pitiless savages, are increasingly seen among us, during our urban peace-time existence.  

The perpetrators of the gang-rape and murder of the young student on a moving bus in India, our 'very own' Modimole Monster and the young men who raped, disemboweled and broke the legs of Anene in Bredasdorp, do not seem to be savage, war criminals or rebels in the jungles of the DRC. These are people who live among us, have studied, most probably have some religious back-ground - if not on a personal level, then at least from parent-home.  

What I am trying to say is:  These are people whom one would expect to have some level of restraint.  Society, Faith and Godliness, Education, Culture, the Law - these are common restraints that are in place in our world.  Norms and values are in place.  So what makes a man cut off his ex-wife's nipples and force strangers to rape her under duress?  What on earth makes a boy cut open a girl's stomach after raping her?  How can friends watch and encourage each other to jam a metal pipe into a girl after raping her and throw her off a moving bus?   

On Valentine’s Day, 4 women were killed in South Africa by their husbands and boyfriends.  Two were shot to death, one was stabbed to death and one was hacked to death with an ax.  Three of the men killed themselves after the attack; the fourth is awaiting the opportunity to request bail, denying the charges of pre-meditated murder.   My husband remarked very aptly:  “Men are a danger to women.  One should teach women to see the danger signs and get themselves to safety.”  A woman can no longer assume that if she stands her ground; she would get away with her life.

I read an interesting article a year or two ago from a therapist who is teaching her patients to trust their own instincts.  She wrote of a woman, who was ‘too nice to be rude’ to a man who ‘merely’ offered to help her carry her groceries upstairs to her apartment, although she felt uneasy.  After he raped her in her own bed, he offered to fetch her a glass of water in her kitchen and ‘something’ made her get up, follow behind him quietly and as he turned into the kitchen, she ran out the front door and got help.  By her description, the rapist was apprehended and found to have raped and murdered two other women. The therapist helped her afterward to analyse the whole situation and identify what she felt, why she acted the way she did and how she saved her own life.  

She realized later, that as she passed the kitchen, she heard the rapist open her cutlery drawer. Who looks for a glass in a drawer?  She realized he was looking for a knife and would have returned to stab her, had she not gotten up and walked right behind him, to safety. At the onset, when taking her shopping bags from her, after she told him she does NOT need help, he simply overrode her wishes.  By allowing him to take her shopping, she signaled clearly that her 'niceness' and unwillingness to be rude to him, made her a suitable victim. He said:  "I just want to help, I'm not going to do anything to you."  Why would he say that?  No-one insinuated it!  

She realized also that he made an 'us' and a 'we' out of the two of them, where no 'us', or 'we' existed.  When they got to her door and she had to take her keys out, he said:  "What are we going to do now?"  All of these were clear signals, she felt extremely uneasy, but still she reached into her bag and took out her key and thus gave him access to her safety and the opportunity to rape her.  She could have been rude and told him off in the street already.  She could have knocked on her neighbor's apartment instead of her own, she even could have pushed him down the stairs... but then later, after he had proven that he lied - he DID do something to her - something inside her made her realize that she cannot trust him to merely fetch a glass of water and leave her in peace.  This, however is just one scenario.  One 'kind' of rapists - the stranger, the prowler.  The fact is that more people are raped by people they know, than by strangers.  Come to terms with it!! 

I want to ask you to disseminate this blog as widely as possible and also to send me information and stories about that ‘something’ that warned you – in any case of crime/violence/rape/robbery etc. – something was not OK.  Whether or not you ‘obeyed’ that inner voice, please tell me if you knew something was wrong before the time.  Do you know what it was that seemed odd? 

(For instance, when we had a motorcycle shop in 2008, a group of young guys came into the shop one afternoon and I simply just didn’t like them for any apparent reason.  They were a little ‘pushy’ and out of place, over friendly and one could tell they had no business buying a bike, or expensive biking gear.  But I was too nice!  I didn’t want to come across unfriendly or ‘racist as they were black.  That night we had a robbery and I just know it was them, that they were scouting out the shop that afternoon.) 

I believe that it is essential to learn to trust your instincts.  Children have great instincts and we teach them to over-ride their first responses to people, by scolding them for being rude.  If a child doesn't like someone, or doesn't want to go to someone – don’t force them.  We teach children to obey older people and even strangers, just because they are adults/family/friends/it-is-the-nice-thing-to-do!  A child says “no” before he says “yes”.  Children know exactly what they want and don’t want – we are the ones who teach them to override that instinct for the sake of courtesy.  The uncle, who molested me as a five year old child, was brazen about his ‘adoration’ of little girls.  He always hugged the nieces hard in front of everyone and always had cotton candy that he gave us, planting kisses on our mouths.  If someone would act like toward my daughter today, I would slap him in front of everyone.  But back then, no-one wanted to make a scene.  No-one wanted to say:  “Stop that!  She doesn't like it!” 

The fact is that there is no single perpetrator-profile of rapists.  There is a whole palette of different kinds of rapists.  Likewise the victim profile is varied.  When I see letters in newspapers of men who believe that a mini-skirt is the reason for rape, I can just shake my head in disbelief.  It is so narrow-minded and while there are cultures who certainly believe that a woman who bears her legs all the way to her bottom, is inviting men to look at her in a dishonorable way, the man who will rape a woman simply because her skirt is turning him on, is probably one of the least common rapists.  Grandmothers are raped, boys are raped, babies are raped, rape accompanies acts of violence, some rape and kill, some rape and apologize.  How can you protect yourself and your life, if you don’t learn to identify your instinct, trust it and act on it? 

Please let me your stories.  You can also mail me privately (info@viva-sa.co.za) - you dont have to post your story for all to see if you dont want to.  

Meleney's Stained Glass Window on the World: How many hands do you need to use a toilet on a mo...

Meleney's Stained Glass Window on the World: How many hands do you need to use a toilet on a mo...: The answer is 5.  You need 5 hands to use a toilet on a moving train in India.  Perhaps only the untrained need 5, but I definitely needed 5...

How many hands do you need to use a toilet on a moving Indian train?

The answer is 5.  You need 5 hands to use a toilet on a moving train in India.  Perhaps only the untrained need 5, but I definitely needed 5.  I shall explain:

Let's assume you are wearing comfortable slacks, which is highly recommended for a 24+ hour train trip.  Something like a tracksuit, or pants made of loose-fitting, non-crease material, with a draw-string or elastic band around the waist, is good for such a trip.  Now this garment, which is great for the other 23 hours and 50 minutes, requires 3 hands in the Indian train toilet.  You will want to pull up both legs, so that no part of the garment touches the floor.  You also need one hand to hold the elastic part down while you awkwardly squat over the slit in the floor, through which you can behold the outside world under the train, speeding by.  Hence, 3 hands for the pants.

Then there is the hand that you need to hold onto the wall with.  (You probably wish you had 2 hands for this, but you are already a couple of hands short, so you figure you can spare a hand and hold on with one.)  You need to hold on, because the train is moving and swaying from side to side.  You know that you will die from freak-out if you fall over, so this is probably one of the more important hands.

Finally you need the hand to administer the toilet paper/scented wet-wipe/cup of water.  None of the other hands will do for this.  You cant let go of what-ever you are holding on to steady yourself and you cant drop your pants-legs, because you now know for sure that the floor is not just wet with water.  You, after-all, made sure of that.  You can also not let go of the elastic that is meant to hold the pants up, as it will surely slip up due to the tremendous strain you are putting on it from squatting.  So, that certainly means the 5th hand will have to reach for the wet-wipes.

There... 5 hands.

When you get good at it you can eliminate the use of 2 of the hands by pulling up both pants-legs and down the elastic and holding it all with one hand, somewhere out of harm's way.  But then you still need a hand for holding and a hand for the wet-wipes.  Then, if you manage to balance yourself so well that you feel confident you can let go of what-ever you are using to steady yourself, you might reach with that hand for the wet-wipes.  Or, you can just travel first class and find there is the option of European Style commodes and Indian Style squat toilets.  Good luck to you and... to my Indian friends;  Respect!!!

In this photo, I am contemplating how long it will take for the seams of my slacks to dry and whether people will wonder what the heck I am doing, when I spray out half a bottle of Clinique Happy, on my feet.  I am also wrestling with the meaning of life, but mostly about the other stuff I just mentioned. 

I havent blogged in a few months and here is why:  I went to India for a month, then returned for a very very busy month at Viva and then went on holiday for a month, and returned to a new very very busy month in 2013.  

India:  What a wonderful, colourful, fragrant country.  I travelled with my son Rheece and this opened up a whole world full of young people that I could mother to bits.  We back-packed.  Yes.  I did back-pack.  I also jumped off a cliff into water, slept on a rock in front of a cave, I climbed up 599 stairs to the monkey temple in Hampi, I rode a scooter, I traveled on many a train, I ate in dodgy places, I was carted about on rickshaws, tuk-tuks, taxis, buses and on bicycles.  I at many a momo.  (Tibetan pasta parcels with spinach and mushroom filling) I ate lots of chapatis with lots of wonderful dishes that I cant remember by name.  I slept on very hard beds.  I went to an Indian loo on a moving train, the tale of which is a topic for a post all on its own.  I bought a Tanpura and I dolak.  (Indian guitar and Indian drum) I sang and played my drum on the beach at night with amazing people until the tide washed up under us. I did many such things... but what is really amazing is that I heard God very clearly.  He spoke to me in different ways:  quiet voices, through a drunk Brit, at the foot of the biggest fortress (Jodhpur) I had ever seen, through my writing and through a beautiful prophecy that I wrote down sitting at an ordinary restaurant table.  Yep, He spoke to me in many places and may ways, the tale of which is also a topic for its own post.

I came back to South Africa and was not a little bit shocked.  I discovered that, unlike while travelling in India, it was not always possible to walk away from what annoys me.  Reality hit me a little hard. Dont forget it was the very very busy last month of the year.  I cant remember anymore how many very big events we had at Viva, plus getting everything ready for the close-down.  VAT returns, PAYE, Salaries, HR files, Letters, Arrangements, Gifts for hundreds of children, Catering, Venues, Equipment, Staff, All the Stuff I Didnt Do While In India... what a shock!

Luckily there is the River of Destiny at Wilderness where I could re-gain my sanity.  But, alas, I must admit, I have not yet managed to find what I had in India and it makes me a little sad.  I was so sure I would be able to keep up the new habits I picked up there, like reading a lot, reflecting a lot, walking a lot, eating little, and worrying very little.  Basically the main thing I kept from India is drinking a lot of water.  That I still do.  I might simply have to go back.

2013 does have another kind of feel to it though and I notice it is a universal thing.  People are positive - very positive - about 2013 and so am I.  It is going to be a good year.  Next I shall write about my Rape Response Protocol Initiative.  It is going to be a big thing.

If you read this - and I will be amazed if you did - thank you for doing so.

Meleney